The Parents Sideline Role

The Parents Sideline Role

Do you think your child is getting the most out of soccer? The sport provides a fun, athletic activity that also builds teamwork, character and leadership skills. As parents, we always want the best for our kids.  Have you ever thought about how you can help your young player get more out of soccer?

Why do kids want to play?

  • Competence, learning and improving
  • Affiliation - Being a part of a team, a club or with friends
  • Fitness, agility, balance, coordination, and physical health
  • Fun - This is the overwhelming reason why children play sports

Why do kids stop playing?

Studies have shown that it is mostly due to adult interference as a result from:

  • Lack of playing time opportunity
  • Over emphasis on winning and/or perfection
  • Lack of fun
  • Pressure coming from parents and coaches

What does this mean to you as a parent? Most parents on the sideline are very positive. We all want the best for our child. How do we help them get the most out of their experience?

First think of your own experiences. What if your boss stopped by several times a day to tell you how to do your job? Or worse, imagine giving a presentation to your peers and your boss consistently yells out what you should say or do, just before you do it. Would you enjoy being in that environment? Would you learn or improve? Most people answer no.To read more about how to help your child enjoy youth sports check out Vince Ganzberg’s article “Why They Stop” on the US Youth Soccer website;

Now put yourself into the cleats of your child, with parents yelling and “coaching” from the sidelines. Consider that we work hard to teach our kids to listen and respect what we have to say. Now they’re playing a game and we’re shouting commands and instructions. This is not the best way for kids to learn the game and grow. It is often stated, "There is no better teacher than the game itself." We want them to play sports so they learn to think for themselves and react in the moment to make good decisions.

What is the best way to prevent this from happening? Practice, just like the players, thinking about what you will say on the way to the game. Visualize yourself on the sidelines encouraging while not coaching. During the game stop every so often and reflect back on what you just said. Does it match with what you planned to do and say? Also, listen to what others are shouting. This alone can be very instructive.

Every child wants to be cheered during the game. Continue to celebrate the good plays and hard work that every play is contributing.

We encourage all the CSC coaches to have a “Parent Meeting” and discuss how parents can best support the team. Part of this meeting should also remind everyone that the goal for the team is fun and development, not winning for the team. The meeting should be at the start of the season. Remember our coaches are volunteers and do their best. Offer to help the coach set the meeting up or help coach yourself.

What to do on the ride home? Celebrate all the small victories achieved on the field. Don’t focus on the goals and the biggest kicks. Focus on the whether or not they learned anything and had fun. Most importantly ask your player what they thought of the game. At this point, the player needs a parent much more than another coach.

Remember the game is for the kids to play, and for us to enjoy watching. So, let the kids play!

To read more about how to help your child enjoy youth sports check out Vince Ganzberg’s article “Why They Stop” on the US Youth Soccer website;

  • Fall Registration is OPEN!

    Posted May 28, 2019
    This Fall we are offering Programs for players from Pre-K to 8th grade.  We have opportunities for all skill and commitment levels
    Intown Programs:
    Pre-K Various times available
    K Clinic (U6) Satirday Mornings
    U8 Clinics/League (1/2 Graders) Wed evenings/Sat Mornings
    Travel Programs
    Upgraded Services will include:
    * Travel Teams will be assigned a weekly session with a Professional Coach.
    * Professionally Coached Monday night Training Clinics for Player Development and Goal Keeper Training (extra fee)
    * Private 1 on 1 training session with a Professional Coach (extra fee)
    * Weekly Ball skills clinic run by a Professional Coach (part of registration)
    * If enough interest an after-school program at Lyman, Brewster, and Memorial Schools - 1 day a week .
    * Player and Coach evaluations (if requested)
    * The Uniforms have not changed
    * If your current uniform still fits wear it until it does not.
    * New uniforms and Coginchaug Swag can be purchased from the ONLINE STORE
    * NUMBERS have NOT changed.  The list is available on the store.
    * If you can not find your number email: (
    Don't miss out on the Coginchaug Soccer Club International Soccer Camp! - Secure your spot TODAY!
    If your child enjoyed our British or Tetra-Brazil programs, they will love our NEW AND IMPROVED Challenger International Camp curriculum!
    Each age group will be trained by a professional international soccer coach & players will receive a camp Jersey, T-shirt, Soccer Ball, Poster & Full Camp Report.
    The Coginchaug Soccer Club Soccer Camp/s will run July 15th - 19th &/Or August 12th - 16th at the Peckham Park in Middlefield, CT.
    Find Out More (


  • Welcome to Coginchaug Soccer Club!!!

    Posted May 5, 2019


    Welcome To Coginchaug Soccer Club (CSC) Connecticut, USA

    Promoting the Love of Soccer for All Ages and All Levels!

    Please Join Us For The Monthly General Membership Meeting

    The Meeting is Open to ALL MEMBERS.

    Please Come, Listen and Share.

    The Meeting is typically the 1st Sunday of the Month at 7:00 PM !

  • Commitment to Culture

    Posted January 14, 2019
    Commitment to Culture

    Coginchaug Soccer Club Announces Pledge

    To Build Unique, Positive Soccer Culture




    Durham, CT—January 15, 2019: Coginchaug Soccer Club has announced its pledge to build a unique, positive soccer culture by adopting the United Soccer Coaches “Commitment to Culture.”


    “Coginchaug Soccer Club is committed to exemplifying and embracing the Commitment to Culture and its seven cornerstones in growing the culture of soccer,” said Kevin Merrill. “We will serve the game that we love so much by embracing these cornerstones and demonstrating them with our players, families, coaches, referees and fans.”


    All of Coginchaug Soccer Club coaches are signing the online pledge at Players, parents and all of our stakeholder are also encouraged to sign the pledge.


    The United Soccer Coaches “Commitment to Culture” was developed by coaches of all levels to build a culture that celebrates what is best about soccer and helps it transcend from not only what happens on the field but also to what happens in the lives of players, coaches, administrators, referees, families and friends. As the unifying voice, advocate and partner for coaches at all levels, United Soccer Coaches launched this effort on October 10, 2018.

    The Commitment to Culture adopted by Coginchaug Soccer Club reinforces the following beliefs about our game:


    We Believe…


    1.      Soccer unites us. We embrace and celebrate our differences because the game makes us one.

    2.      Character first. We honor, teach and develop the core values of honesty, loyalty, responsibility, selflessness, compassion and discipline.

    3.      The rule of fun. Fun is the lens that can make every soccer player a success. Fun takes many forms and always concludes with “I want to do it again.

    4.      The game is the teacher. We are all responsible to ensure that soccer teaches the skills of a well-lived life. Teamwork, leadership, hard work, communication and creativity are just the beginning of its lessons.

    5.      Well-being. A safe, healthy, welcoming experience in body, mind and spirit is the right of every soccer stakeholder.

    6.      We are family strong. Family in all its forms – team, club, community, relatives – is the greatest asset that soccer has. Take time to connect and appreciate.

    7.      Soccer is the player’s game. Soccer is a personal journey for every player. It is for the player to see, decide, create and win or lose. It is their game.


    By demonstrating these cornerstones in all facets of the game, Coginchaug Soccer Club will be a change agent in strengthening the culture of soccer in the United States.






    About United Soccer Coaches
    Founded in 1941, and headquartered in Kansas City, Mo., United Soccer Coaches is the trusted and unifying voice, advocate and partner for coaches at all levels of the game. The largest community for soccer coaches in the world, we unite coaches of all levels around the love of the game and we elevate the game through advocacy, education and service. To learn more, visit


  • Become a Referee

    Posted July 9, 2018

    The club pays $20 - $50 per game and it's a great way to be involved and learn more about the game.

    To enroll in this training you must be 13 years old by December 31, 2017. Parents and any adult are also encouraged to certify! if you become a ref this spring, your liscence will be good until the end of 2018

    The club will provide a bonus to any new ref from Durham or Middlefield who refs 8 games in 2018 (any level of games) equal to the tuition of the referee class

    Training is done via online self taught sessions followed by an online open book test. Once the online session is completed, you will need to register for 2 sessions. The first session is a classroom session, the second a field session, both are taught by CJSA instructors. Each session is 3 hours, most sessions are held on the same day back to back. See the website for full instructions

    IF you become a Referee:

    The club will work around your schedule: you will not be forced to choose between playing and referee'ing. You will work only when you are available

    If you think you could be an AR but not sure about becoming a center, that is fine, every game needs 2 AR's and 1 center, some ref's specialize in being AR's and rarely center a game. You will not be given a center until you feel you are ready

    You can only be a center for age groups 2 yrs younger than you, so if you are 14 yrs old, you can only center u12 and under games

    You can only be AR games for age groups 1 yr younger than your age

    For more information on the program, visit


    For specific questions, please contact CSC Referee assignor John Bugai at

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